Maddison's Musings

Is it too early in the year to drop out and become a hobo? Probably not, but a girl can dream. When I heard people say junior year would be the hardest, I believed them, but I didn't expect it to be this bad. Every single day last week I had about seven to eight hours of homework. I was up until midnight doing homework, and I would start when I got home from school. Then, you throw on the actual grades. My grades so far are the absolute worst they've ever been- I have five B's. Five. Granted, one's an 89 that I can probably bump up to an A, but still. That's the most I've ever had in my entire academic career. I don't mean to sound like that type of person, but I usually only have one B per year, and I had straight A's until I hit Algebra 1 in middle school. The fact that I have multiple B's literally kills me.

One of my B's is in English and honestly, it's mainly due to this class discussion that we had last week and I couldn't talk so I failed and got a 65 on. Let me just rant a little bit about grading class discussions for a bit. First off, there are shy people in every class. Forcing a grade onto a discussion doesn't make them want to speak up any more than if it wasn't graded. Secondly, you have people with intense anxiety who literally can't function is a discussion setting. Third, if you just let people talk without calling on anyone, you get the people who dominate the discussion and get all of the points. Grading class discussions is one of the absolute worst things you could possibly think to do.

My next B is in aerobics. I took aerobics because I heard that it was easier than PE and quite frankly, getting sweaty and all red faced isn't my thing, but this class is like actual working out. It's hard and we work out and we have to do the mile on Wednesday's just like the PE classes. In order to make a 100 on the mile, you have to run it in nine minutes. Nine minutes. To get an A it needs to be between nine and ten minutes, and then it goes down five points every thirty seconds. Granted, the teacher helps buffer your grade because if she sees that you're trying, she'll give you a few extra points to help you out. I am extremely out of shape. I ran a mile once, like four years ago. I made my mile in 13 minutes, which meant that I failed it. My teacher bumped my grade to a 70, but my average grade in the class is an 82. I get 100's for participation, but the mile counts for a test grade (60%), so it's as if the hundreds don't even matter.

I have an 89 right now in APUSH, and in all honesty, that's okay. That's a hard class. Plus, I'm pretty sure I can bump it up by the end of this week. Another B is in Pre-Calculus, and I'm fine with that one too. Pre-Cal is hard and I'll gladly accept the stupid B. My last B is in WHAP and it's an 88, and I have a notebook check tomorrow that I'll get a 100 on, so I'm not too worried about it. In all honesty, I don't really care about WHAP- APUSH is my top priority right now.

As if I wasn't stressed enough as it is, I'm going to work even harder to get A's. I can't stand having such poor grades, it literally makes me sick. My anxiety is off the charts right now, and I honestly just want to give up, but I know that I can't. I'm going to try my hardest to get my grades up by the semester mark, because the semester is really all that matters.

I'm not even going to apologize for this post honestly. I need to get this off my chest and write it down, even if nobody reads it. So if you did read this giant rant, do you have any advice? What would you do?

~Maddison

Also, the whole time I was writing this I was thinking of Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRviuL6vMY

I still can't really believe that I'm already a junior. Ah yes, the lovely junior year of high school. According to most people, this is supposed to be the hardest year of high school. Not only do you have multiple AP classes, but this is also the only year that actually counts when it comes to college because this will be the year that colleges look at on your transcripts. Let's not forget about having to take the SAT/ACT later in the year. Yes, I understand how junior year is the most stressful, but I'm trying not to worry about it so much just yet.

I haven't gotten completely overwhelmed yet, and I'd like it to stay that way. I'm already following APUSH help accounts on Twitter and Tumblr as I know that they'll come in handy by the time the AP test rolls around. So far, I really like APUSH (AP US History). My teacher is fantastic and makes it seem more interesting. He also gives us mnemonics and things to help us retain all of the information, which I like as it makes studying a whole lot easier. 

This year, I'm taking three AP courses (APUSH, WHAP {AP World History}, and English), Pre-AP Precalculus, regular Physics, Varsity choir, aerobics, and journalism. I would have taken a Pre-AP Physics instead of on-level, but my school only offers regular and AP and I've never taken it before, so I stuck with regular. I think this is the first on-level class I've ever taken, and it's super easy so far. Precal on the other hand, is not my favorite, but I'll survive I hope. 

I know that this is a shorter post, but it's getting late and I have school in the morning. Hopefully I'll update again before the end of the month and update you a bit more. 

~Maddison