Maddison's Musings

So far, 2016 has been a pretty great year. I just filled out my January calendar and it was so full of color and packed with activity. This year, I've started a bullet journal, and I love it so much. I'm going to make a blog post about that next hopefully, but I wanted to give it a month and see how much I used it and how much I like it before I wrote about it. So far I love it, and I really use it more for personal things and ideas and such, so I'm really excited to write that post before the end of February.

One thing that I've missed doing is writing. I know I keep putting off these blog posts until the end of each month, but that's working out for right now as I try to think of more things to write about and I know this is mostly for me in the future, but in the last few days I've really missed writing and my mind has been full of new ideas. The hardest part though is starting it, so I just have a ton of plans, but the fear of writing something is keeping me from actually doing anything, and that's pretty annoying for me. I'm trying to break that and tell myself to just write, but then I procrastinate and tell myself to do something else, like homework, or laying on the floor. I find that it's really easy to put off something you love, especially when you don't want to mess up. I'm half tempted to open a word document and type gibberish for a page or two so it doesn't look so empty when I try to write. Maybe I'll try that.

On another update, I have finished my first semester of Junior year. Now I just have two semesters of high school left until I'm done. That's kind of a scary thought because I just can't fathom the fact that by June 2017 I'll be done with high school. Don't get me wrong, I've been waiting for this my entire academic life, but now that it's so close it feels really surreal. The counselors came around to our classes a few weeks ago and were already telling us to register for classes for next year. I went home and immediately put in my course requests, even though it doesn't close for another few weeks. It's so crazy to think that I'll be a senior- it just doesn't seem real! I'm going to take a ton of AP classes next year so that I have less college expenses if and when I pass the AP exams, and I've also put in that I either want my first and/or last periods off, so hopefully I get one of those. We got our class ranks and GPA's the other day, and honestly at first I was really disappointed in myself because I'm only in the top 8% of my class, and my dream college, UT Austin, needs top 7% for automatic admission, but now it's just pushing me to do better this semester and make my way into that top 7%.

Speaking of college, I've been looking into college and careers and everything recently and after the initial fear fear of the future and feeling like Troy Bolton in High School Musical 3 when he sings Scream, I'm actually still feeling pretty good about the future. I have really high goals for myself, and I know I can achieve them.

The weather was extremely nice here this weekend, and today I brought a blanket out to the backyard and sat in the sun with my cat. It was really nice and calming and my mom had brought a laptop out, so we listened to church online while we sat in the sun. It was really relaxing, and I felt an extreme amount of peace and happiness while I was outside. Today in general, I've been feeling really happy and for the first time in a long while I woke up with a huge smile on my face and I just felt happy and calm and it's such a nice feeling. As of right now, nothing can stop me. I'm ready for what my future holds.

~Maddison