Jun 30, 2017

Pride Chat #4: June Favorites (Pride Edition)

June 30, 2017 0 Comments
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How Pride Month is already nearly over, I have no idea, but I thought I would take the opportunity of the month ending to share some of my favorite things from the past month, but with a LGBTQA+ twist. Also, if you might recall, I wanted to make a Pride Chat post each Sunday of June, but I went to California last week and missed last Sunday, so I thought I could do it today and at least get four little chats out there. Without further ado, let's see what some of my favorite things are.
Note: This post contains affiliate links, which you can learn more about in my disclosure HERE.

Books

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe
The two main characters, Aristotle "Ari" and Dante are two boys growing up in East Texas during the 1980s who become fast friends, even though it seems like they have nothing in common at first.
You can buy this book on Amazon now HERE.

This Book Is Gay
This book is helpful no matter how you identify. It's more like a gay instruction manual on how to handle life when you're LGBTQA+ it covers a lot of stuff. It's even a helpful book if you're straight. Plus, it's funny. Who doesn't love a funny book that's also gay as hell? Count me in.
You can buy this book on Amazon now HERE.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson
Written by John Green and David Levithan, this book explores the lives of two boys, both named Will Grayson who end up meeting unexpectedly. Their lives become intertwined as the reader learns the story of two boys with the same name, but very different lives.
You can buy this book on Amazon now HERE.

Music

Saint California
The sophomore album by Ieuan is breathtakingly beautiful. Not only is the artist himself gay, but so are his songs. He openly uses male pronouns in his dreamlike melodies. I've had the album on repeat for weeks, not going to lie.
You can buy it on iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play, or stream it on Spotify.

Blue Neighbourhood (Deluxe)
The debut album by Troye Sivan was released late 2015, but it still holds plenty of bops. I may be partial, considering I've been watching Troye grow as a musician since early 2013, but I still love this album and all his music. "Heaven" is still one of my favorite gay songs tbh.
You can buy it on iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play, or stream it on Spotify.

Sleepover
This single by the Queen of the Gays is beautiful and gay, just like everything Hayley Kiyoko does. Another recommendation is Girls Like Girls, but the Sleepover single is easier to link.
You can buy it on iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play, or stream it on Spotify.

Girls/Girls/Boys
Honestly, Panic! at the Disco can do no wrong, but this song off Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die is my bi anthem.
You can buy the album on iTunes, Amazon, and Google Play, or stream it on Spotify.

Accessories

Pride Flag
What's Pride Month without a pride flag? I bought my bi pride flag from Amazon here, but they also have the rainbow flag, and a trans flag.

Pride Pin
These little lapel pins are so cute. They have a rainbow pin, a bi pin, a pan pin, a trans pin, and so many others. Instead of linking to each pride pin, I'm just linking to the general search with all their pride pins here.
I hope you enjoy some (or all) of these things as much as I do! If you get anything let me know, or leave a comment below telling me some of your favorite pride related things.

~Maddison

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Jun 18, 2017

Pride Chat #3: My Journey to Self-Acceptance!

June 18, 2017 0 Comments

I grew up in a fairly religious household in Texas, so coming to terms with the fact that I'm not straight was a long and hard process for me. I think part of me always knew something was different. Many of my friends would talk about crushes they had on boys, and frankly, I just couldn't relate. I didn't really get crushes- or at least I didn't allow myself to say that I thought a girl was pretty. I've always fancied girls, but I never allowed myself to act on anything, mostly claiming I was interested in being their friend more than anything else. It's so strange to me now, looking back on old journal entries and whatnot when I would talk about a girl who I obviously had a crush on, but I would just keep saying what a great friend she was. But the truth was, even though I was so obviously not-straight, I never allowed myself to think I was anything less than straight. I went to church twice a week, had about ten different Bibles, loved the Lord, etc etc. Now, I'm not saying all Christians are homophobic, definitely not, but all the ones I knew growing up were, especially family members. Hell, even I was homophobic as a kid, which really fucked me up, considering I am definitely gay, but we'll get to that later. At one point during my freshman year of high school during one of the youth group topics, homosexuality came up and the church leaders literally said that if anyone was feeling gay they could come to the altar and they would try to pray the gay away, I shit you not. That same night, they even made us sign these little cards that said something along the lines of "I promise to follow Gods plan for marriage: one man, one woman, forever" or some bullshit like that. At that time, I was definitely repressing my sexuality, refusing to believe I was anything but straight. I didn't want to sign the card, but I had a friend who was looking at me expectantly, so I took the pen and signed the damn card. I don't think I've been to church since.
Seeing how most of my extended family is very religious and mostly homophobic, I haven't come out to anyone yet. The only person I've come out to in real life is my mom, and I did it last year accidentally. You see, I wasn't ready to come out, not at all. I had just come out to myself, finally allowing myself to think "hey, maybe it's okay that I'm not straight." I came out to myself November 2015, to my internet friends the same month, then to my mom in January of 2016, and I haven't really come out to anyone else since. Honestly, I'm scared to come out, so I'm just waiting it out.  I didn't even mean to come out to my mom, but I had written in a little journal my goals for the year, and one of the goals was to come out as bi to at least one person I knew in real life. I must have left the journal open or something, because my mom found it and questioned me. She was really supportive and whatnot, which was good, but it wasn't the coming out experience I wanted or planned. She just waited until we were alone, said she saw it, and said she loves me no matter what, which was a huge relief, but I wish it had gone differently. I was terrified, and it was kind of shitty. She hasn't told anyone, and neither have I.
I know this post has been a bit sad so far, but I want you to know that in the year and a half that I've had since coming out to myself, I've been so much happier and carefree with who I am. I'm proud that I'm bi, and every time I see pink, purple, and blue together I get elated, even if it has nothing to do with being bi. I can talk about girls easily with the friends I'm out to, and I no longer live in a world full of hatred and self-loathing. One of my favorite hobbies includes looking through old journals in relishing in how gay I was, before I even realized it. A few years ago, I found a box of old things that my mom had kept from elementary school and things, and one of the items in the box was my journal in third grade, where I once wrote a story about two lesbian ladybugs who were in love and traveled the world together, and then another story about me having a girlfriend. When I first saw that, I was mortified. I refused to believe I wrote it and started crying, insisting that I wasn't gay, but now when I read it, I laugh and relish in the fact that my gay ass was being gay way back in third grade. It reminds me of all the times I tried so hard to repress any feelings for girls, and how much I hated myself for that, but now, I love thinking about girls. I remember once, in seventh grade, I had a crush on my friend and I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I just kept telling myself that I wanted to kiss her for practice, so that I was ready when I wanted to kiss a boy. Lol nope, your gay ass just wanted to kiss a girl, dumbass.
I'm so glad that I live in a world where the LGBTQA+ community is thriving. I'm glad that I'm a girl who loves girls. I'm glad that I was able to learn how to accept myself, and stop the cycle of hate I felt towards myself when I was younger. Although in an ideal world, homophobia, or any phobia, wouldn't exist, we have to realize that it does, even in 2017 when the gays are flourishing. I'm proud to be bi, and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise. Online, I'm very open about my sexuality, but it's a different story in real life, and that's okay. Maybe I'll have the courage to come out before I'm walking down the aisle with my wife, but until then, I have the best friends online, and I'm so blessed to have such a strong LGBTQA+ community online as well. Stay safe and stay proud my loves.

~Maddison

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Jun 12, 2017

Pride Chat #2: There Are More Than Two Genders!

June 12, 2017 0 Comments

Welcome back to another Pride Chat, and get ready to fight me (maybe, we'll see). As a cis woman, I definitely have no right to talk about the experiences of non-cis people, but I can spread a little bit of light on the fact that they are in fact out there. For those of you who don't know, a cisgender person is someone who agrees with the gender they were assigned at birth. A non cis person can be non-binary (someone who doesn't identify with either male or female), trans, or any of the other gender identities out there. According to this gender masterpost on Tumblr, there are tons of other genders out there besides male and female.
Now, if you're someone who rolls their eyes at even the thought of someone being trans, then you definitely won't like this post, but it's something you need to hear. The world isn't divided into solely males and solely females! There are people who identify many different ways, and that's perfectly normal!! What's not normal, quite frankly, is the fact that some people have their heads shoved so far up their ass that they can't accept that. Also, a persons genitals have no correlation to what their gender identity is, and if that's your argument against them, then you might want to reevaluate yourself. No matter who you are, or what you identify as, you are completely valid and I'm here to love and support you!!
In this overwhelmingly heteronormative and cisnormative world, people who identify as something other than a cis male or a cis female get treated poorly, and that's pretty shitty. There's even debates on which bathrooms they can go in, which is so ridiculous to me. A bunch of cis, straight, white dudes vote on the majority of the issues, including women's reproductive rights and LGBTQ+ rights, such as which bathroom someone can take a piss in. Trans people just want to go to the bathroom in peace, what could possibly be dangerous about that?
Although this post mostly turned into a rant against small-minded people, I really just wanted to mention the fact that there are more than two genders, and the fact that things like colors (pink vs blue), makeup, clothes, etc get labeled with specific genders piss me off. For example, my brothers get shower gel, no big deal, right? You would think. But of course, if you want to sell shower gel, you have to slap a giant "FOR MEN" in all caps and bolded on the bottle, and name the scent something totally ridiculous, like "PURE POWER SURGE." Ah yes, now this shower gel is completely ready to sell and put on the shelves in stores. I find it quite funny how fragile and toxic masculinity is, and nothing will be funnier to me than seeing a regular product with "FOR MEN" slapped on it, as if it makes any difference whatsoever. Overall, I just want you to understand that there are more than two genders, and whatever you identify as, you're loved and valid.

~Maddison

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Jun 4, 2017

Pride Chat #1: Sexuality is Fluid!

June 04, 2017 0 Comments

Hello my loves and happy Pride Month to every single LGBTQA+ person on the planet, whether you celebrate openly or from the closet. Pride Month is a big one for anyone in the LGBTQA+ community, since for one month, the Gays™ are out and about and living life extravagantly, and I love it. There's something about Pride Month that just brings the whole community together and everyone feels good. For one month out of the year, we can finally feel normal in a heteronormative world. Pride Month is celebrated each June to honor the Stonewall Riots in Manhattan in 1969, a turning point in the visibility of LGBTQA+ people in the United States. The last Sunday of June in the U.S. was initially Gay Pride Day, but the date is flexible- now stretching the entire month of June! The landmark Supreme Court Case Obergefell v Hodges, which legalized same-sex marriage throughout the U.S. and its territories, was also decided on June 26, 2015, ending the Pride Month of 2015 on a positive note.
Seeing as it's Pride Month and I love telling people how gay I am, I thought I would do a few pride themed chats- one on each Sunday of June. Some will be more serious than others, while some may be more light-hearted and silly. I have a few ideas, so we'll just wait and see. Today's chat deals with something important: the fluidity of sexuality. 
Sexual orientation isn't a choice, but we do have a choice as to what labels we chose to define ourselves. As you grow and get to know yourself/what you like more and more, you may find yourself relating to a label different than what you originally came out with-and that's fine!! Labels suck, which is why many people just like calling themselves Queer, which is a simple way of saying you're not entirely straight, but you're not going to define yourself to a label. Don't worry if your label changes- it's perfectly normal! But just because sexuality is fluid, it does NOT mean you can invalidate someone's sexuality, especially not bisexuality, pansexuality, etc. The fluidity of sexuality doesn't allow you to be an asshole that tells bisexuals it's "just a phase" and they'll "eventually choose" one gender over any others.
No matter what, it's perfectly okay and normal to question your sexuality and not know what the hell you identify as. It's also okay to not label yourself! Don't let society force you into choosing a label- just be yourself and figure it out along the way. Even if you never label yourself, I'm proud of you. And if you change your label I'm also proud of you! I'm proud of every single one of you, whether you're out or not, and whether you label yourself or not. Let's just enjoy life a bit instead forcing people into labels, shall we?
Enjoy Pride Month and I'll see you next Sunday (hopefully)!

~Maddison

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