Maddison's Musings

Hey girls and gays how's it going? I hope you're doing well and if not then I hope it turns around soon. Anygays, I've realized that it's been a while since I've just done a ramble-y chat-type post, so that's what we're up to today. Also, I totally forgot that it's the last day of March today and I really thought I had more time to procrastinate writing. I guess that brings me to one of my main points today: I am constantly procrastinating. No matter what I do, I never want to do homework or anything productive really. It's so bad that I will literally wait until like 9:30 pm to start homework, then I wonder why I'm up at 2 am stressed and crying. It's a mood and I HATE IT. Anyways, I spent the last hour and a half looking through various scholarships because ya girl needs some way to pay for London and I'm not stressed at all hahahahahahahahakillme. Wait, I don't think I've updated you gays about that yet! Okay, that brings us to our second topic today: I got into my dream study abroad program and I'm going to study in London for an entire academic year starting this September!!!! I've been dreaming of this since SIXTH GRADE and now it's really fucking coming true like I'm really living out my dreams and I'm going to be in London with one of my best friends and it's going to be CUTE! What's not cute is the $38,000 program cost I have to pay by May 10th but it's gucci because I'm just not thinking about it!! Okay, fine, that's a lie. It's most of what I think about. Granted, I can totally use financial aid, and I'm applying for scholarships out the wazzo, but my university is being rude and hasn't released my financial aid award notifications for 2019-2020 yet, so I have no idea what my general base line is. Plus, I made a spreadsheet to keep track of all of the scholarships I've applied to and how much they're worth and apparently my list is up to nearly $50,000, but of course I haven't applied to all of them yet. I think I've applied to enough for around $20,000 if I win them all, but of course that's very unlikely. Thankfully, some of these aren't due until the summer, so I have more time to procrastinate them. Also, it's April tomorrow???????? What the FUCK my dudes I refuse to think about that. But, that also just means that I only have a little over one month left of school, hallelujah. I'm not saying school is killing me, but uh school is killing me. And it's not even that bad it's just that I keep procrastinating!! I really need to stop and actually do my fucking work, but we all know that's not gonna happen because I am the absolute worst. Hopefully by next month I will have a better post up but rambles are fun too I guess.