Maddison's Musings

Photo by Ash Hayes on Unsplash

If you scroll back far enough, you might find traces of my high school dream of becoming a journalist. However, one introductory journalism class in my first semester of college had me dropping journalism and running to the English department. What do you mean I had to interview people? Me? Talking to strangers? My anxiety screamed and fled and refused to let me breathe for so long until I realized that this blog could have a journalistic aspect while also staying true to my random mumblings and ramblings. 

I've been wanting to write so many different posts lately, but so many of them lie half-written in my drafts. Sometimes it feels like the state of the world is so awful and so dystopian that none of my silly thoughts should reach the light of day. Who cares about my thoughts on the Percy Jackson TV show when there is an active genocide happening in Palestine right now? Why would I post a book review of the last book I read when we live in a capitalistic hellscape where workers can hardly afford food or rent or some of life's basic necessities? Why would I talk about my job as a Starbucks barista when the company has been under fire for union-busting and illegal actions for years? No matter what I wanted to talk about, I found myself hitting save and logging out. While yes, this blog is simply a way for me to get my thoughts out and has never been about making money and getting famous, there's also a part of me that feels shame for finding little moments of joy amongst the constant horrors of existence. So I guess this is a small post to say that yes, there is a lot of shit going on in the world and a lot of it is bad. But there's still hope left. We keep going. We rally together and we demand change. We protest, we call for a permanent ceasefire, we share awareness for everything going on in the world, and we try not to let it consume us.

I've been working closely with union organizers the last few weeks, and whenever I ask "But what if the company doesn't bargain in good faith?" or "What's the point of fighting so hard for a union if the company can get away with treating the workers so poorly with seemingly little repercussion?" or any slew of "what if" questions, the organizer I'm working with reminds me that we have to have hope. As union organizers, and as people, we have to have hope that things can change for the better. Even when all hope seems lost, we have to cling to the last little burst of light to keep going. I think that relates to the human existence as a whole. Yes, things can be terrible and sometimes it can feel like things might never get better, but you just have to hope that things can get better. Throughout our union campaign, Starbucks Workers United loves using the saying "direct action gets the goods." It's one of the main slogans for the campaign, and it can relate to many different aspects of existence. Direct action gets the goods. Working together can enable change.

While the world may seem terrifying and bad news seems all-consuming, there is still hope that things can change. There are so many resources out there to take action against the genocide happening in Palestine. I've been using https://uscpr.org/resources/ to gain information and I've used https://uscpr.org/take-action/ to find ways to take action. There are so many email templates to send to your representative without any effort, including https://act.uscpr.org/a/%20stop-funding-israels-massacres.

Starbucks Workers United posted today, February 27th, that Starbucks has finally agreed to begin discussions on a framework to achieve collective bargaining with unionized stores. It is no coincidence that this is taking place not even two weeks after 21 stores filed to join the union in the largest filing surge in SBWU history. Similarly, in the wake of Aaron Bushnell self-immolating in an extreme act of protest against the genocide in Palestine on February 25th, people are talking and sharing information and remembering Bushnell, who sacrificed his life for a cause he deeply believed in. I believe that the tide is changing. People can no longer stay complicit to the issues the world is facing. Things may seem bleak and terrifying, but together, we can rise up. We can demand change. We can work together to make sure the millions of displaced people in Gaza have a free homeland to look forward to. We can ensure that workers have the legal right to organize without retaliation. 2024 is the year of change.

A giant step forward made possible by thousands and thousands of us joining together and speaking out…

🚨THIS IS HUGE.🚨 pic.twitter.com/zZZ57Am0Bm

— Starbucks Workers United (@SBWorkersUnited) February 27, 2024

This is why he did it in uniform as an active member of the United States military. This is why he emailed reporters. This is why he livestreamed it. This is why he yelled “Free Palestine” as flames engulfed him. To make it impossible for the media and the US to ignore. https://t.co/2neYYpIAIF

— nope. (@dangitbird) February 26, 2024

I stopped doing New Year’s goals and resolutions this year and instead, I’m trying to focus on resetting. I know a lot of people see the new year as a time to reset, set goals and/or resolutions, and become the best version of themselves. I see the merit. But for 2024, I don’t want to overwhelm myself with change right off the bat. In years past, I’ve made lengthy to-do lists, bucket lists, and goals for the new year, and I haven’t made a single list like that so far. I want to work on self-compassion and I want to make sure I am living for me and doing things that bring me joy. Other than that, I just want to see where this year takes me. And part of that fluid mindset involves this very blog.

As of last August, I’ve had this blog for a decade now. What started out as a small place to talk to myself as I started high school has now become my own little online journal. In the last decade, I have changed so much, but my ability to yap to myself online has remained constant. I rarely go through all of the posts that I’ve archived here over the last ten years, but I know that I have covered so many different topics while trying to find my “niche” as the fancy bloggers call it. I shared life updates, I posted tips for surviving high school and college, I tried to post mental health resources while I was struggling, I posted think pieces about coming out and living authentically, I’ve posted TV reviews and travel prices and book reviews. The point is, I’ve done a lot with this blog over the last decade and I have loved doing it. I stopped posting consistently when I started working after college and I got hit by the reality of adulthood. I’ve tried to change things up, make a profit, and force myself to type something out, pretending I had a loyal fan base to update. But I think that part of this new year I’m trying to embrace doing things because I love it and because I feel like doing it--not because it is a chore or something I have to do.

And one thing I have loved throughout my life has been reading and writing. I had a goal for 2023 to review every book I read on storygraph and I’m pretty sure I wrote a review for at least 15 books last year. I wanted to publish longer reviews here, but I didn’t have time or I never had deep insight into what I was reading. I won’t lie, I read a lot of really gay romance novels last year. Nothing wrong with that, but for most of the books I was reading, I was reading it for fun. To escape the world. I wasn’t looking for great books that I was going to reread over and over. I just wanted to read as many queer books as possible. And I did. But as we are finishing up the first week of 2024 and I am coming off a three-week leave of absence from work, I just want to write about books. In a surprising turn of events, taking a break from work improved my mental health so much that I have regained a small amount of creativity that I had just assumed was gone forever. So this year, I want to make an effort to write more. I had pretty much given up on writing over the last few years as I lost all motivation and seemingly all of the creativity in my body. But I’m getting it back. I never expect this blog to get popular or to actually make any money from the ads on here, but I think that’s the freeing part of this revitalization. This gives me a space to talk about the books I love without the pressure of people actually seeing it. If they see it, cool, but I’m not expecting it. I hope it inspires me to write more, even if it is just a rambling brain dump like this. If you see this post and have read this far, then I actually published it and didn’t just keep it in my drafts forever like the last three posts I’ve tried writing before I abandoned them. 2024 is a reset year for me and I’m excited to see what happens. Maybe I’ll look back on this post fondly in another decade, maybe I won’t. But I’m having fun for now and that’s all that really matters

~Maddison

Currently reading: The Hundred Years' War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi

Currently lsitening to as I type this: Broken Skin (Outlines) by Thomston

Currently watching: Grey's Anatomy (My fiancee got me hooked-- I think we're on season 12) and Percy Jackson